Three Stylists, One Cut Each. Then I Committed.

The short version: A couple of weeks ago I told you to pick one stylist and stay. Then I had to find a new one myself, after six years with the same man. I tried three before I settled, judged each of them on a single cut, and used an AI image of my own face as the reference instead of trying to describe what I wanted. Here is how I did it, and the one thing I would never do.

Why I had to start over

In the hair article I said the most useful thing I ever did for my hair was stay with one stylist for six years. I also mentioned he was heading toward retirement.

That timeline came sooner than either of us planned, for reasons outside his control. So I went looking.

Where I looked

Mostly reviews and Instagram. I admitted in the sleep article that I doomscroll, and I am very much guilty of doing it on Instagram. For once it was useful.

Instagram is a stylist's portfolio. Reviews tell you whether someone is pleasant and on time. A stylist's own feed shows you what they actually do with a pair of scissors, and whether any of it looks like hair you would want on your own head.

What I would not do is the thing I suspect most men do.

Never just walk in

I would not walk into a random salon and sit down for a cut. You are handing your head to a stranger you know nothing about, with a month or more of living with the result.

It takes very little effort to avoid that. Check reviews. Look at their work. Find someone whose cuts look like what you want before you ever book.

Barber or stylist?

My view, from having used both:

• A barber suits the classic short looks: a fade on the sides with length kept on top, or a buzz cut. Earlier in my life, when my hair was shorter, I always went to a barber.
• A salon stylist is where I would go for anything longer. My hair is medium length, and that has meant a stylist for as long as I have worn it that way.

That is my opinion, and it is the one I go by: match the shop to the length you want.

The reference: an AI image of my own face

This was the part that worked best.

Instead of trying to describe what I wanted, I showed him an AI-generated image of myself with the hairstyle I was after. No flipping through hairstyle magazines like we used to. No trying to explain "a bit shorter here but not too short" and hoping he heard what I meant.

It worked way better than describing it ever did. When the reference is your own face, there is much less guessing on either side.

One thing worth knowing if you try it: an AI image will happily put a hairstyle on you that your actual hair cannot do. Thick, straight hair does not always behave like hair in a picture. A good stylist will tell you that before they start cutting, which is itself a decent test of whether they are a good stylist.

One cut, then commit

I tried about three stylists before I settled. I gave each of them one cut.

I am someone who makes quick decisions and commits once I have made them. From the way someone cuts my hair, I can roughly tell whether I will be back. One cut is enough to know.

That might sound like it contradicts what I said about staying with one person for years. It does not. One cut is how you decide. Years are how you build. The trial is short so that the commitment can be long. What I warned against before is the endless rotation, the different chair every time, where nobody ever gets the chance to learn your head.

Personality matters too

You have to factor in the stylist's personality, not just their cutting.

Some stylists are salespeople. They spend the cut recommending products, and you leave with a bag of things you did not come in for. I have bought enough things I did not need to know I do not want another salesperson in my life, and I said in the hair article that the brand of what you put on your hair matters less than people think.

The man I settled on is the opposite. He is a man of few words. He cuts my hair with extreme precision and calculation. That is exactly what I want from a stylist. Your preference might be the opposite, and that is fine, but know what it is before you choose.

Building the relationship

Once you have found someone, here is the easiest thing you can do.

Introduce yourself. If they start a conversation, chat with them like they are a friend. You will be surprised at the relationships you can build just by doing that. It is how a stylist goes from cutting a stranger's hair to knowing yours: what it does in three weeks, what you tried last time, what you will not go back to.

That does not mean you have to talk the whole time. My current stylist barely talks at all, and that suits me fine. The relationship is not the chatter. It is turning up, being the same person each time, and letting them learn your hair.

Where to start

• Look before you book. Reviews for how they treat people, Instagram for what they actually cut.
• Never just walk in. A little research saves you a month of a bad cut.
• Match the shop to the length. Barber for short and faded, stylist for longer.
• Bring a reference of your own face. An AI image does the describing for you.
• Give each one a single cut. Decide quickly, then commit.
• Avoid the hard sell. A stylist who keeps pushing products is not the one.
• Introduce yourself, and keep coming back. That is how they come to know your hair.

It is the same lesson as the three products I tell everyone to start with: choose carefully once, then stop shopping around. I had six years of that with my old stylist. I am at the start of it again now.